We all depend on people we know

     I have put over $1200 into that bike all the best parts. I don't understand how someone can do such harm to another and live with themselves afterward. The amount of damage done to someone when you steal from them is at least 10 times worse than the gain you are recieving. When someone owns something they come aclimated on it and it becomes part of there base neads. When someone receives something new they are not yet acclimated to it. It is not yet part of there daily routine. It isn't an instant boost to quality of life. It takes time. When you steal it can cause all the stones to come tumbling down. There is no control over this. There is controll over the rising when gaining. You can decide when to use your new thing. I cannot. I feel very much that when a person does any act they should think of the overall impact of it. I would say it is ok to do a negative thing that causes 1 unit of negativity if in turn it causes 3 units of positivity. In our society this isn't a belief which is considered moral. The reason for this is that we have no mode of determining units of gain and harm or any other abstract change of this sort. If we all think that way we all will be able to gain more for ourselves than we would have been able on our own. Our world is based on that belief. Businesses are built on it. Our government is built on it. Our roads are built on it. Our food. There is no thing that is not built on it. It is such a fundamental theory in our society I don't know how someone could be so ignorant as to not understand and to not follow this. When I catch this person they will learn about there ignorance.

Slavery In America Today

     There are slaves in the united states today. Currently the minimum wage is so low in comparison to the cost of living that those who earn it can only afford to pay for a place to live, food, and clothes at times. These people feel that they have a choice in what they spend there money on, but really they don't. They have just as much choice of what they spend there money on as a slave has choice of weather or not he has a place to sleep at night. Those who are forced into this life at 18 with no family, and no friends have almost no hope for ever being any better. They cant afford to have friends. If they chose to have friends some of the money they spent on living in their apartment, buying clothes, or buying food would have to be spent on doing things with friends. But an apartment, clothes, and food aren't things which a person can decide to go short on.

MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS

     If you were to look at the average life of a slave they would live in the safety bracket. If you look at the average person earning minimum wage today they would be in the exact same bracket. One is given money from the employer, when one receives money they feel that they are free to go waste it all if they want. They always have the freedom to not spend the money on rent, clothes, or food, but by doing this they will be dropping the physiological bracket out of under themselves. Soon this person would find there life crumbling under their feet and would be forced to enter the world of working for the bare minimum again. Because of this dilemma one does not go spend his hard earned cash on whatever they want. They receive their pay check, and use all of it to pay for the same things as a slave would be given. There is no choice of weather one will pay for this or not.

     The People in the top bracket of America make this worse by constantly forcing the cultural ideal that a person who is happy has lots of expensive things and in order for a person to have friends one needs to spend money on those friends. Because this is forced on us we feel that we cant be happy unless we spend all of our money on things which are "nice" or "expensive". It gets us in a never ending work, spend, spend, debt. once one ends up in the debt stage they feel stressed inside, after the stress builds up they work harder so they can get out of debt, once the work pays off and one earns a promotion they feel that it is "OK" to gain just a small amount more debt. This is a way of rewarding ourselves so that we can feel OK about the hard work and so they can keep Their esteem. This cycle will continue running in circles for the rest of a persons life, and as the media forces more and more ideals down our throat in the form of movies, TV, advertising, news and corporate sponsored forms of entertainment, we are caught. We are slaves, they run us.

     Those in the upper class make such a preposterous amount more money than those in the lower class that they can use a small amount of that money to study the spending habits of us, study us so much that they can learn how to indefinitely hold us in our state of slavery, but because we technically can escape if we "really try" we aren't considered slaves and what they do is just fine and dandy.

My Glass is Empty

     My glass feels so full all the time, the memories and the feelings passed are so strong they cause the illusion of being full. There is constantly a remembrance, this remembrance has such emotion that it is almost infallible. It has been so long, it feels like the memories are fading, like it is draining. The odd thing is that the emptier the glass the more I have to give. Then my glass has been completely empty in the passed all I have wanted was to give my love to someone else, I didn't even care if I got any back. There is a paradox, we constantly think of the contents of the glass as being the love given by others. The love we give has 2 sides the side we give, and the side we keep. The side we keep is almost more important than the side we give. If we could give love, feel that it was being taken, appreciate, and accepted openly, and returned with simple friendship, we would still feel love. By giving love we are filling our own glass. If people could learn to accept love without feeling a responsibility to return it in equal amounts people would feel much more willing to give love. We would all have more love given and more to give. Love is a one sided thing, it can be 2 sided and can be better when it is 2 sided, but, it still is not a bad thing when 1 sided. It still fills the glass. Accept the love that is given to you all.

My Future

     So after Burning Man my first agenda will be to spend no money and to save it all for moving to southern California. During this time of spending no money I will be watching craigslist for job listings in the area of southern California that i want to move to. I currently think I should get a job in manufacturing of some kind because that is what i am good at. Production manager would be a good position but I think I should change it up a little so I learn something. I could possibly work as a research technologist or something of that sort. The main importance is that I see jobs that I could work during this period and think about what qualities I have that would fit into these positions. I need to familiarize myself with the job market and with my capabilities of fitting into it. During my free time I can slowly push myself to become, or to know the position of the job which I would fill so that i can better achieve this job.

     After preparing myself for the next stage in my life being new job I will end up moving, working at Starbucks part time, finding that job which will fill my 40 hour work week, keeping working 20 hours at Starbucks, till either I don't need medical insurance with Starbucks anymore or till I cannot put up with it, whichever is longest. After this I will stop working with Starbucks, continue working my manufacturing job, making a reasonable salary. I am hoping I have the financial strength to save up during the 60 hour week period to purchase a car of some kind.

     I would prefer a VW Rabbit diesel truck for practical reasons or some other more suitable small compact car for driving/fun reasons. I could imagine having a VW Rabbit diesel truck/motorcycle combo but I don't imagine buying both the truck and the motorcycle at the same time. I, at this current time, fully think the better option is to buy the truck and then the motorcycle or the motorcycle than the truck and no small economy car because the economy car doesn't fit either of my needs fully but would cost about the same as both combined in price and insurance and would cost more in gas mileage.

     After I get the better job and a vehicle to get from place to place I can imagine getting a place to live with a garage to commence upon my projects. These projects would include quite a bit of inventing. I wish that this inventing would achieve something tangible for myself but i know it wont. Another thing which I must start once I get this job is school. I need to get more school. I am not entirely sure of what I need schooling in but during the time of having the well paying job and of having a mode of transportation I should be researching through business contacts and through other sources what is required for me to become the next level of success.

     At this current time I do have ideas of what could happen next but they could entirely change because that is so far off. In life the thing which I need most to create success is more capability of testing my theories. I have so many theories that I cannot even come close to testing them. They all overlap because all I am is a ball of thought. Once I can test them I will end up spending more time testing and less time thinking causing less clutter in my brain and in my life.

     Money is the thing which I would say I need the most but it is only the idea behind money that i need. It is the empowerment behind money that i need. I need the capability to do and to experience. I have the capability to think I have the capability to create more thought but I do not have the capability to do. Once I generate the capability to do I will also generate the capability to make others do and that is where real power comes from. Once you know how to make others do you have entered the parabola, the point of no return, the place which it only gets better. I have theories about this place but no way to back them up

burningman 2010

in 2010 i will be living in sothern california and i would like to join up with rue morgue agian. i feel that it would help me with my passion for understanding the human psychee and helping humans to deal with there problems beter. i have written a great bit lately about the human psychee and i find myself reaching a plateu of the knowlege i can atain from within myself without causing myself to explode into the great nuthingness that exist in the void of my psychee. i hope to find this help by being part of a very close nit group of friends. in sothern california this group exists for me and i would like to observe them listen to them and mimic them to learn the psychee of those who are the most diffrent from how i am. after a year of doing this i hope i can learn how to comunicate my thoughts, which i have writen and spoken, to people who have never been introduced to this kind of thought or idea, and also people who are so diffrent from me that there is a comunication barier so great that i cannot currently break it.

this is not my official decision just a thought that i am currently dealing with

the inteligance behind going from depression to happiness

to be happy you have to be open to the fact that being anything other than happy doesn't help your future well being. there is a way that you have to think about your existence to make it always reflect the positive. but to go from always being afraid of the positive, always being sad, lonely or empty to being happy is something i haven't learned yet. i have went through it a few times but i haven't been conscious of the change and haven't been capable of watching the clicks and triggers as they pass. during depression there is a void where the happy thing once was. to end depression you have to find something to put in that hole. many people put alcohol, drugs and other things in that void. some put exercises in that place. they are all forms of a drug exercises fills your brain with natural endorphins and a natural attentiveness to something other than the thing which makes you depressed. i am striving to find a thought that could take this place. a thing you could do which is non-physical which would act as the distraction to negativity. i feel that this thought would be the central thought which takes place during the transformation phase. i don't know what this thought is and i haven't experienced depression and transformation enough in my life while being conscious of what is happening to describe or even understand what the mental process was that caused the transformation.

you could say that the end of depression is action it is getting up and moving yourself from what is not good. one cannot completely disassociate oneself from the body and be happy because our perspective and the influence on our perspective is inevitably the things which surround our physical body. this is a break from what i have previously been striving for. i have realized that you cannot attain all prosper and happiness from thinking alone but from the combination of thought and implementation thought into action to change the perspective. make the surroundings control your thought to bring it to a new point which would help one be a better being. you must have the intuition to decide which surroundings would make a good molding hand for your "self" and place yourself in that hand.

i have previously described the mold of the happy person and now i must try to describe the mold of the sad person. one Cannon know good without at the same time understanding what the opposite is.

another thing which i would like to talk about is the state of thinking versus the place of action. by action i mean when you are working out, when you are dancing when you are mountain climbing, when you are concentrating on something which does not require logical thought. it is like you are following a path very closely in your mind, it is like the future path is being laid one step at a time in front of your face and you are stepping on it as it comes. it may require a small amount of thought to keep you on the path but the path is still simple. when you play a video game as a child you are following key influences which provide a direction to where you should be going. you must learn to make intuition out of the logic which you have thought up to make your subconscious just as intelligent as your conscious. the line to ultimate happiness has some place in using your intelligence to control your unintelligent because you cannot deny the existence of the subconscious and of the habit.

in the future i will think and talk about the realm of habit and intuition. i Haven used my consciousness to Analise this place of being lately because i saw that intelligence makes so much sense and why be intuitive when you have intelligence. now i will use my intelligence to mold my intuition so i can relax while being at work and have fun at the same time.

Higher wisdom

it is the need for understanding yourself. prayer is a form of meditation and meditation is basically concentrating very deeply on that which is yourself. you ask for what you at your heart want. when you get deep into meditation you will realize things which are so profound and so amazing that they will make your whole existence an ecstatic place of never ending knowledge and wisdom. you will reach places where no longer does the struggle of your self mater and it enters a realm of the struggle of all of humanity as a whole. you start to think in unison with the existence which you perceive from an outer perspective towards the existence around you. it is an amazing experience which i greatly encourage you to adventure to.