i feal that the reason that the human psychee strives for relationships and friendships is because we have subconcious questions and feelings which we dont know the answer to. the only way we can get the answer is by surrounding ourselves with the kind of people or the situation we think would have the answer we want. but if we, in turn, just find out that they dont have the answer to that all important question, but have a diffrent answer which we werent ready to believe or accept. we will then turn to our natural instinct, emotion. emotion is what animals evolved to make them respond properly to stimulus which would otherwise take inteligent thought. as the human race has evolved we have evolved the aspect of inteligent thought and hense emotion is rendered useless and distractive. this is the stem of drama and loss of those which you were close to.
people suffer because they dont understand how to percieve the reality around them. they constantly run around in fear constantly being negative. if one is constantly thinking about the things which could go wrong when they do go wrong there wont be any surprise and surprise is what causes emotion. emotion is the only thing out of our controll that effects our perseption in any way other than how we would like it to be. if you just realize that being angry or sad doesnt effect the outcome of that event in any way other than a negative way and you can change your attitude to be a positive reflection of the fact that i am still here and i am still learning from my mistakes, you will only gain a greater controll over your perseption and a more positive one at that. every time something goes bad you should automaticaly understand that you are still alive and you have just learned something. what you have just learned will stop you from, in the future, having the same ill luck come apon you because you have learned something.
now that you have learned this you can use your knolege to prepare yourself before you go into a situation to make that situation turn out as a positive one. because you know that being negative wont make any situation beter you can also immagine the things which could go wrong and take pride in the fact that you are prepared instead of being scared or depressed. by being scared you are in a way putting yourself in the emotional state you would be in when something goes wrong before hand so it cant effect you in that way. the whole mindset is a kind of thought loop that can only make you happier with time.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
the one thing that i fear and i fear more than death
there are very fiew times in my life when i feel the feelings of paranoya, insomnia, fear, depression, lonelyness, and a fiew other emotions of these type. when i do as now is usualy when i am coming down from taking extacy. this must be the seccond worst of the times i have ever experienced. the only reason it isnt the worst is because i now have the experience to understand that my paranoya, fear and depression are all thoughts that are illogical and i know that when i come out of the effects of the drugs wearing off i will look back and see this in a very diffrent light.
the reason i am taking this so horobly this time is partialy because i have been letting myself fall freely because i have finaly found someone i can trust. i have never before in my life found someone i felt i could trust like this. it scares me in a way... ...and, at the same time, it feels so rediculosly wonderfull that it is worth the fear.
i was just told by kitten that she wants to take a break untill i move down there because she is falling to quickly, the relationship is moving to quickly. i completely understand this. i do not hold this agianst her and i feel that it is a smart decision.
when i find that i want to move from one place to another i take that changing point as a point where i can feel comfortable changing many things in my life to how i would like them to be. every time i have moved there has been a girl where i am moving that i have told myself that i am moving for. the image i build in my head of the girl i dream of is one who understands that by being completely honest and comunicating even those things which could be damaging twards the relationship because of misunderstanding of feelings, one is inevitably strengthening the relationship because in the future there will be less chance of misunderstanding, and less chance of falter. in the beginging this could be an extremely hard thing, but over time it would only become more and more easy and also only more and more fruitfull. this is why i have always been 100% honest with every person i have ever been in a relationship with about everything i am feeling. this has caused the vast majority of my relationships to end permaturely. it has caused many many problems and i feel that this is the only way to have a truly successfull relationship in our ever changing time. i also admit that there could be other ways but i havent yet learned of them. in the past when i have arived at my destination uppon seeing how i am and seeing the honesty i have the person who i arive to often times gets scared away by my sincerity and honesty.
i feel that i have found someone who would not be scared off by that. but i do always understand if my immage is skewed.
the reason i search out for a person to hold on to while i move is because i am making a lot of changes in myself for what i feel to be the beterment of onself. it is an instable place for me and it is the only thing i am afraid of in this world. just writing this right now is making me tear up. but it is a thing that i beleave to inevitably be worth the danger. over the past 2 years i have learned many valuable lessons i have learned how to think about things in a philosophical manner. i understand how to look at choices i have in an outside view and value them acording to which would help me and the people around me the best.
what is causing my insomnia at this current time is the fact that i dont know if i would be able to make the change and the move which i feel to be so important to my wellbeing without the suport of a significant other. i am very sure that if i were to make the change and move only to find that that significant other wasnt there for me i would have another mental break down and i have no idea where i could end up after that happens agian. probably in a gutter somewhere looking up wondering who i am and how i got here.
>the thought has run through my mind to try to teach myself to change myself without the support of another but i know if i did this i would endup growing to be an angry lonely old man who didnt care about anything in life other than his own success and i would have a midlife crisis which would be me realizing that i should have strived for that which maters most, friends. and i would probably endup killing myself around age 60 or 70.
i feel that this change i am about to embark on will be the one that will set me on the path of being rediculously successfull while at the same time keeping those friends who i value the most and reaching a life of balance and love.
i have to wake up in 3 hours and i am hoping that writing this down will help me to be able to sleep but i realy feel that it wont because i am still afraid of changing myself without something to lean on.
the reason i am taking this so horobly this time is partialy because i have been letting myself fall freely because i have finaly found someone i can trust. i have never before in my life found someone i felt i could trust like this. it scares me in a way... ...and, at the same time, it feels so rediculosly wonderfull that it is worth the fear.
i was just told by kitten that she wants to take a break untill i move down there because she is falling to quickly, the relationship is moving to quickly. i completely understand this. i do not hold this agianst her and i feel that it is a smart decision.
when i find that i want to move from one place to another i take that changing point as a point where i can feel comfortable changing many things in my life to how i would like them to be. every time i have moved there has been a girl where i am moving that i have told myself that i am moving for. the image i build in my head of the girl i dream of is one who understands that by being completely honest and comunicating even those things which could be damaging twards the relationship because of misunderstanding of feelings, one is inevitably strengthening the relationship because in the future there will be less chance of misunderstanding, and less chance of falter. in the beginging this could be an extremely hard thing, but over time it would only become more and more easy and also only more and more fruitfull. this is why i have always been 100% honest with every person i have ever been in a relationship with about everything i am feeling. this has caused the vast majority of my relationships to end permaturely. it has caused many many problems and i feel that this is the only way to have a truly successfull relationship in our ever changing time. i also admit that there could be other ways but i havent yet learned of them. in the past when i have arived at my destination uppon seeing how i am and seeing the honesty i have the person who i arive to often times gets scared away by my sincerity and honesty.
i feel that i have found someone who would not be scared off by that. but i do always understand if my immage is skewed.
the reason i search out for a person to hold on to while i move is because i am making a lot of changes in myself for what i feel to be the beterment of onself. it is an instable place for me and it is the only thing i am afraid of in this world. just writing this right now is making me tear up. but it is a thing that i beleave to inevitably be worth the danger. over the past 2 years i have learned many valuable lessons i have learned how to think about things in a philosophical manner. i understand how to look at choices i have in an outside view and value them acording to which would help me and the people around me the best.
what is causing my insomnia at this current time is the fact that i dont know if i would be able to make the change and the move which i feel to be so important to my wellbeing without the suport of a significant other. i am very sure that if i were to make the change and move only to find that that significant other wasnt there for me i would have another mental break down and i have no idea where i could end up after that happens agian. probably in a gutter somewhere looking up wondering who i am and how i got here.
>the thought has run through my mind to try to teach myself to change myself without the support of another but i know if i did this i would endup growing to be an angry lonely old man who didnt care about anything in life other than his own success and i would have a midlife crisis which would be me realizing that i should have strived for that which maters most, friends. and i would probably endup killing myself around age 60 or 70.
i feel that this change i am about to embark on will be the one that will set me on the path of being rediculously successfull while at the same time keeping those friends who i value the most and reaching a life of balance and love.
i have to wake up in 3 hours and i am hoping that writing this down will help me to be able to sleep but i realy feel that it wont because i am still afraid of changing myself without something to lean on.
success
over the past few months ever sense the UN subcommittee on the drug war converged for their meeting which comes ever 10 years to discuss the success of the drug war over the past 10 and the direction of the future 10. the conclusion was that the drug war has done no good and was a complete waste of funds and they don't know what to do about the future. there are comments coming from Washington making statements similar to the many deaths and misfortune in northern Mexico associated with the drug cartels is because of the Americans insatiable need for drugs. and many statements showing that we spend more money on jailing people for drug charges than any other thing when taxes from legalizing drugs would easily pay for any aid efforts to help people recover from drugs when they are having problems.
there are estimates that drug use would double but also drug problems would be cut in half. currently people who do drugs and have a problem with them feel that the only people they can go to for help are the others who have the same problem. they are subconsciously afraid of approaching anybody because of the terror of never being able to have a job again, rent an apartment and so much more that becomes harder after convicted. if it was legal they would seek out help because the help would be provide either for free or for a very inexpensive price through subsidies. ultimately i feel that the people of this nation would learn the lesson they need to learn from the drugs and it would be a good thing. if they don't learn the lesson they will go get help because it would be made to be free and easy.
ultimately i feel that the people of this nation would learn the lesson they need to learn from the drugs and it would be a good thing. if they don't learn the lesson they will go get help because it would be made to be free and easy.
if drugs are legalized i feel that it will be another 15 to 20 years before we could approach the point of all drugs being legal if that is possible. i do feel that marijuana will at least be decriminalized by 2012 or 2013 once this happens there will be a hole new group of people wanting to try the drug. currently the people who try drugs and continue to explore the experience are either people who feel that it doesn't matter because they are never going to be working in a job that currently in our times would consider the use of marijuana to be a discrediting factor to your professional reputation. the others are people who are very intelligent and don't care about being "successfully" in our society or view success as a different thing than those of the professional community. if it was legalized there would be a sudden boom of intellectuals who have plans for changing the world by being political or professional trying the drug and looking for guidance as to how to experience it in the most profitable way.
I like to consider myself a respect full professional and responsible person. i do not feel that what drugs you have done should give any person any right to discredit you. if i hadn't taken drugs in my life i would not have found my passion and would probably be a pretty "unsuccessfully" person and not have a grip on life and what relay maters. in times of legal drugs a new scene would likely emerge of the old type of professional person meeting up with the intelligent people of the drug scene who use the drugs for help with complicated philosophical thought. the structure of this scene would be the opposite of the norm in our society the "unintelligent""unsophisticated" people would be teaching and leading in the revolution of the "intelligent""sophisticated" type.
there are estimates that drug use would double but also drug problems would be cut in half. currently people who do drugs and have a problem with them feel that the only people they can go to for help are the others who have the same problem. they are subconsciously afraid of approaching anybody because of the terror of never being able to have a job again, rent an apartment and so much more that becomes harder after convicted. if it was legal they would seek out help because the help would be provide either for free or for a very inexpensive price through subsidies. ultimately i feel that the people of this nation would learn the lesson they need to learn from the drugs and it would be a good thing. if they don't learn the lesson they will go get help because it would be made to be free and easy.
ultimately i feel that the people of this nation would learn the lesson they need to learn from the drugs and it would be a good thing. if they don't learn the lesson they will go get help because it would be made to be free and easy.
if drugs are legalized i feel that it will be another 15 to 20 years before we could approach the point of all drugs being legal if that is possible. i do feel that marijuana will at least be decriminalized by 2012 or 2013 once this happens there will be a hole new group of people wanting to try the drug. currently the people who try drugs and continue to explore the experience are either people who feel that it doesn't matter because they are never going to be working in a job that currently in our times would consider the use of marijuana to be a discrediting factor to your professional reputation. the others are people who are very intelligent and don't care about being "successfully" in our society or view success as a different thing than those of the professional community. if it was legalized there would be a sudden boom of intellectuals who have plans for changing the world by being political or professional trying the drug and looking for guidance as to how to experience it in the most profitable way.
I like to consider myself a respect full professional and responsible person. i do not feel that what drugs you have done should give any person any right to discredit you. if i hadn't taken drugs in my life i would not have found my passion and would probably be a pretty "unsuccessfully" person and not have a grip on life and what relay maters. in times of legal drugs a new scene would likely emerge of the old type of professional person meeting up with the intelligent people of the drug scene who use the drugs for help with complicated philosophical thought. the structure of this scene would be the opposite of the norm in our society the "unintelligent""unsophisticated" people would be teaching and leading in the revolution of the "intelligent""sophisticated" type.
The Flexability of the Mind
there is an ability or power i have and i don't know if anybody else has. it is why i believe i am more capable than most of the people on this planet in most aspects of life. the story of how i developed this ability starts when i was young around 10-12 years old. i was diagnosed at 9 years old with a severe case of A.D.D. from my recollection my doctor, who was one of the leading A.D.D. Physicians of the time, believed that i had one of the worst cases of A.D.D. he had ever seen. i was placed on an adults dose of Adderall at 10 years old. once the drugs took control of my A.D.D. i went through very basic behaviour training by my devoted father and the doctors under closely monitored conditions. i was trained by only having one stimulus present or available at a time. as i became better at concentrating i would get a lower dose and a lower dose of the drug along with more and more stimulus. once i was off of the drugs i became more capable of concentrating on the task at hand than the children and kids around who used to surpass me. after living with this ability for many years. i have learned that they actually cured me of my A.D.D. by transforming it into the overwhelming ability to control my attention and focus it. they did this not by getting rid of a so called deficit of attention but by teaching me how to properly value the things in life which i could possibly pay attention to. they taught me to weigh my options analytically and always do the thing witch would have the best impact on my future.
I feel that A.D.D. isn't attention deficit disorder but that it is attention surpluses disorder. as a young child i would sit down and play with my Lego's, i would play for hours and days. everything i built looked better and far surpassed any of the models my parents, friends, or anybody else i had ever met had ever seen. if it was truly Attention deficit disorder i have know idea how i could have been so devoted to this task. during school and during homework time while i was struggling with my disorder i would be in the deepest state of concentration on the things i felt were important to me such as Lego's, television, my friends, recess. the whole time i would be concentrating extremely hard, i had no fear of failing or doing bad in school because that didn't have a significant impact on my happiness based on the things i had experienced in the past, it is very logical if you think about it this way. i was annoyed that i was always being interrupted in the middle of my important concentration and research.
i now have complete control of my "subconscious". i can almost hear my subconscious talk to me. if i think back on that feeling you have in the back of my brain and my body when i am at the verge of falling asleep i can now make my self go into a state of dreaming i almost start seeing them happen in front of me and then when i decide to let myself sleep i instantly fall into the deepest sleep. when things are going bad i can think back on the other times that things have went bad and think of how that has effected the future soon afterwards. it has never had as much of a long lasting effect as i think it will while it is happening. once i realize this i instantly start thinking in a completely different manner, i am no longer depressed and hopeless. i have the power to look at what happened to make me angry, Analise it, and understand how this will or could impact the future. if nothing good could come i log it in my memory as a lesson and set a new rule in my brain for what i have learned from this. the fact that i have learned something means that the future will inevitably be better and that makes me happy again.
the frase free your mind has been used many times by many people. they usually mean if you see someone doing something you disagree with but that wont effect you in a negative way learn to live with it. to me it means something completely different. it means let your mind have no boundaries to its capability at any time. i feel that this may be the secret to gaining control of a larger portion of your brain than we currently have. because of this i can make myself multi task much better and learn multiple things by participation extremely fast because i can watch the way people move and analyze that with the logical part of my brain while listening to their words and drawing a map between the two actions to understand more wholly what they mean.
while i am doing this i am not analyzing the actions for now but i am analyzing them for the future, i am training my muscles to do the movement or my brain to do the task that it will need to do without the repetition that is necessary for most people to come to this point, that way when i do have to do this task instead of thinking about what is happening i can instead think about the things around me and plan for the future of based on the new stimulus.
as you grow your mind gains new talents by the narrowing and defining of the synapses. an infant has a much larger percentage of synapses than an adult. Maybe if learning to open the synapses and work with a larger amount you can achieve much more amazing things psychologically.
I feel that A.D.D. isn't attention deficit disorder but that it is attention surpluses disorder. as a young child i would sit down and play with my Lego's, i would play for hours and days. everything i built looked better and far surpassed any of the models my parents, friends, or anybody else i had ever met had ever seen. if it was truly Attention deficit disorder i have know idea how i could have been so devoted to this task. during school and during homework time while i was struggling with my disorder i would be in the deepest state of concentration on the things i felt were important to me such as Lego's, television, my friends, recess. the whole time i would be concentrating extremely hard, i had no fear of failing or doing bad in school because that didn't have a significant impact on my happiness based on the things i had experienced in the past, it is very logical if you think about it this way. i was annoyed that i was always being interrupted in the middle of my important concentration and research.
i now have complete control of my "subconscious". i can almost hear my subconscious talk to me. if i think back on that feeling you have in the back of my brain and my body when i am at the verge of falling asleep i can now make my self go into a state of dreaming i almost start seeing them happen in front of me and then when i decide to let myself sleep i instantly fall into the deepest sleep. when things are going bad i can think back on the other times that things have went bad and think of how that has effected the future soon afterwards. it has never had as much of a long lasting effect as i think it will while it is happening. once i realize this i instantly start thinking in a completely different manner, i am no longer depressed and hopeless. i have the power to look at what happened to make me angry, Analise it, and understand how this will or could impact the future. if nothing good could come i log it in my memory as a lesson and set a new rule in my brain for what i have learned from this. the fact that i have learned something means that the future will inevitably be better and that makes me happy again.
the frase free your mind has been used many times by many people. they usually mean if you see someone doing something you disagree with but that wont effect you in a negative way learn to live with it. to me it means something completely different. it means let your mind have no boundaries to its capability at any time. i feel that this may be the secret to gaining control of a larger portion of your brain than we currently have. because of this i can make myself multi task much better and learn multiple things by participation extremely fast because i can watch the way people move and analyze that with the logical part of my brain while listening to their words and drawing a map between the two actions to understand more wholly what they mean.
while i am doing this i am not analyzing the actions for now but i am analyzing them for the future, i am training my muscles to do the movement or my brain to do the task that it will need to do without the repetition that is necessary for most people to come to this point, that way when i do have to do this task instead of thinking about what is happening i can instead think about the things around me and plan for the future of based on the new stimulus.
as you grow your mind gains new talents by the narrowing and defining of the synapses. an infant has a much larger percentage of synapses than an adult. Maybe if learning to open the synapses and work with a larger amount you can achieve much more amazing things psychologically.
Coming of Age
As I went through the end of high school we learned of tales of the past's coming of age ceremonies. Throughout all time coming of age has meant to learn the things we need for making the future of our life successful. Weather that was hunting, cooking, or the making of fire it was always based around the future of the person’s life. In this day and age more and more people are having a coming of age experience which heavily involves psychedelic drugs. Because of this I feel that my generation’s greatest power will be the power of abstract thought and mental control beyond that of any previous form of human life. I feel that this generation should not be called generation x or y or the digital age but it should be called the generation of the mental infinite. This is the age where people will learn what that extra 90 percent of our brains is used for.
For me there is a dramatic break in my memory from the time before I had taken psychedelic drugs to the time afterward. The break isn’t how you would expect from what is taught in our society of the impact of drugs on the mind. For me the memories from before were as if I was asleep and dreaming, I had no conscious control over what was happening I was just watching myself while at the same time I had some subconscious ability to steer in one direction or the other. I hadn’t yet learned how to be conscious and state facts in my head in a logical manner for the purpose of self expansion in the future. Now I do not take the memories of things that happened to me to be of any more importance than the things I have seen happen to anybody else. I view myself and everybody around me as one person when I think I think for the larger portion.
When I am living life and things are happening to me and around me I place no extra weight on things that happen to me verses things that happen to those around me.
I analyze the impact and the outcome and make new sets of rules or guidelines for me that reflect what has been experienced by my consciousness, not by my physical being.
Doing this makes it so that when I am surrounded by different circumstances and large amounts of people I am able to enhance my wisdom at a more accelerated rate than any of the other people around me.
These people who are in the same situation often would be distracted by the entire stimulus being given to them and not know which is important.
There is so much more to be learned from what others experience than from what you experience on your own
For me there is a dramatic break in my memory from the time before I had taken psychedelic drugs to the time afterward. The break isn’t how you would expect from what is taught in our society of the impact of drugs on the mind. For me the memories from before were as if I was asleep and dreaming, I had no conscious control over what was happening I was just watching myself while at the same time I had some subconscious ability to steer in one direction or the other. I hadn’t yet learned how to be conscious and state facts in my head in a logical manner for the purpose of self expansion in the future. Now I do not take the memories of things that happened to me to be of any more importance than the things I have seen happen to anybody else. I view myself and everybody around me as one person when I think I think for the larger portion.
When I am living life and things are happening to me and around me I place no extra weight on things that happen to me verses things that happen to those around me.
I analyze the impact and the outcome and make new sets of rules or guidelines for me that reflect what has been experienced by my consciousness, not by my physical being.
Doing this makes it so that when I am surrounded by different circumstances and large amounts of people I am able to enhance my wisdom at a more accelerated rate than any of the other people around me.
These people who are in the same situation often would be distracted by the entire stimulus being given to them and not know which is important.
There is so much more to be learned from what others experience than from what you experience on your own
the Speed of Love
love is like you are running down stairs. these stairs are different than ordanry stairs because they bring with them a series of images and feelings. sometimes you run faster some times you run slower. when you fall in love it makes the running become easier because the stairs start moving uphill on their own. this brings on the pleasing images and feelings quicker and more abundantly. but once love grows above the accustomed you start to loose control. so you must find an escape before you come tumbling down on your face like a fool.
the faster you run the more joy you get from the stair case, but you also have to maintain at the speed you are practaced at. sometimes the beautiful things can blind you from the reality of what is coming but in a truly correct relationship the pictures should also show a bit of the future and a bit of the dangers to come, to condition you for a more diverse and more pleasing ride.
the faster you run the more joy you get from the stair case, but you also have to maintain at the speed you are practaced at. sometimes the beautiful things can blind you from the reality of what is coming but in a truly correct relationship the pictures should also show a bit of the future and a bit of the dangers to come, to condition you for a more diverse and more pleasing ride.
The Revolutionary War
The revolution or depression of now is in the way we process information and the way we organize "digital" law. i feel that in one of the next revolutions to come in this world; and i say world not country because i feel that with the media how it is and the world working how it does we are extremely close to becoming a singular world consciousness, we will be coming to a point where the main factor in the hindering of the human race from succeeding in whatever we want will be the mental and emotional shortfalls or brokenness of ourselves.
My mother was a psyche-nurse for all of my child hood and most of my adult life. This gave me great insight into the workings of the human mind. through out life whenever i would see someone do something, say something, or respond to some stimulus in a way that i didn't understand, i would not be afraid or confused about it. i first think what in this persons history would shape this person to perceive the stimulus the way they did. after a whole life of thinking this way, constantly trying to imagine the unimaginable, constantly asking or straining for what i cannot conceive, i now instantly can imagine why everyone on this planet experiences their personal little piece of this world the way they do. there are so many different ways to think, so many different ways to experience the world, and so many different ways of perceiving the same circumstances. most of the thought processes end with the same physical outcome of the situation but they all end in a different mental outcome.
i work at Starbucks and working at a place like this i get to see a lot of people in a lot of stress. the customers at Starbucks tend to be the kind of people who are constantly on edge, constantly on the go, and constantly unhappy with the life around them. the unhappiness is the reason for the excessive amounts of caffeine. they feel that if they can work faster or concentrate better they will have more chances of "success". being an employee of an establishment we are constantly under scrutiny everyone wants their drink yesterday and they want it to be made better than is possible from a purveyor such as Starbucks. my coworkers go through the day complaining and bitching back and forth about the customers and the problems. the point i am trying to make is no mater how annoyed you are with the customers, you are not allowed to show that annoyance to the customer, and the fact that you are in a negative place in your head is not going to make the situation any better. it can only make the situation worse. you will be snappy with the customers which will make them snappy back and very quickly the hole situation evolves into a quick moving vortex to the place of doom. if the people i work with could get around the fact that being angry about what happens to you isn't going to help you and realize that there are things which could be learned from the situation to make your future experience of the situation a better one they would go far.
i spend my time in the present not thinking about the present. when something happens in the present i think about what just happened, i evaluate when that kind of a thing has happened in the past and what the outcome was. i then create a loose set of pretenses that i can put experiences in the future into to make the decision that when these pretenses happen i will proceed with the pre-decided and contemplated procedure. that way i will always think before i act but always act before i think.
the paragraph which comes before this paragraph is probably a mildly stimulating paragraph to the average human being causing a small amount of revelation and a small amount of thought but nothing compared to what the following paragraph says.
when ever i revive a negative stimulus or something that isn't a positive impact on my immediate future. first i realise that the odds of that thing happening to me sometime in the future are either very likely or very unlikely. in the case of it being very likely i am happy because this negative stimulus has just encouraged me to start thinking in a different way in a way that will make the same incident in the future into a positive incident because i have prepared for it. in the case of it being a very rare thing i think well that just happened and it was bad but the likely hood of it happening soon in the future is not very much and it will probably be a long time till it happens again.
My mother was a psyche-nurse for all of my child hood and most of my adult life. This gave me great insight into the workings of the human mind. through out life whenever i would see someone do something, say something, or respond to some stimulus in a way that i didn't understand, i would not be afraid or confused about it. i first think what in this persons history would shape this person to perceive the stimulus the way they did. after a whole life of thinking this way, constantly trying to imagine the unimaginable, constantly asking or straining for what i cannot conceive, i now instantly can imagine why everyone on this planet experiences their personal little piece of this world the way they do. there are so many different ways to think, so many different ways to experience the world, and so many different ways of perceiving the same circumstances. most of the thought processes end with the same physical outcome of the situation but they all end in a different mental outcome.
i work at Starbucks and working at a place like this i get to see a lot of people in a lot of stress. the customers at Starbucks tend to be the kind of people who are constantly on edge, constantly on the go, and constantly unhappy with the life around them. the unhappiness is the reason for the excessive amounts of caffeine. they feel that if they can work faster or concentrate better they will have more chances of "success". being an employee of an establishment we are constantly under scrutiny everyone wants their drink yesterday and they want it to be made better than is possible from a purveyor such as Starbucks. my coworkers go through the day complaining and bitching back and forth about the customers and the problems. the point i am trying to make is no mater how annoyed you are with the customers, you are not allowed to show that annoyance to the customer, and the fact that you are in a negative place in your head is not going to make the situation any better. it can only make the situation worse. you will be snappy with the customers which will make them snappy back and very quickly the hole situation evolves into a quick moving vortex to the place of doom. if the people i work with could get around the fact that being angry about what happens to you isn't going to help you and realize that there are things which could be learned from the situation to make your future experience of the situation a better one they would go far.
i spend my time in the present not thinking about the present. when something happens in the present i think about what just happened, i evaluate when that kind of a thing has happened in the past and what the outcome was. i then create a loose set of pretenses that i can put experiences in the future into to make the decision that when these pretenses happen i will proceed with the pre-decided and contemplated procedure. that way i will always think before i act but always act before i think.
the paragraph which comes before this paragraph is probably a mildly stimulating paragraph to the average human being causing a small amount of revelation and a small amount of thought but nothing compared to what the following paragraph says.
when ever i revive a negative stimulus or something that isn't a positive impact on my immediate future. first i realise that the odds of that thing happening to me sometime in the future are either very likely or very unlikely. in the case of it being very likely i am happy because this negative stimulus has just encouraged me to start thinking in a different way in a way that will make the same incident in the future into a positive incident because i have prepared for it. in the case of it being a very rare thing i think well that just happened and it was bad but the likely hood of it happening soon in the future is not very much and it will probably be a long time till it happens again.
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